All Things Must Change

During a session with a beloved client, I suddenly realized I was bored. I’d come to rely on my emotions to guide my work. Delight, sorrow, compassion, and even exasperation were familiar. But boredom was disturbing. The conventional wisdom is that you’ll know when it’s time to retire—and there it was.

Specific dates, ages, or events like a graduation, are universal signals for a shift. Other alerts include being nudged (or shoved) by an outside force, an epiphany like I had, or a slow dawning of clarity. Think about the transitions you’ve been through and how you knew it was time to act. We prefer those we choose rather than those forced on us. However, sometimes the latter holds unexpected value.

Of course, the timing isn’t always right for change. Maybe you have a sucky job but need the paycheck. Or you’re in an unsatisfactory relationship but it’s really complicated to leave. Many situations take time and planning so your departure doesn’t create a regrettable mess. But if you’re miserable, don’t let this be an ad infinitum excuse.

There are lots of reasons not to move on. Anticipatory overwhelm keeps many from doing what they want or need to do. This seems to get worse as we age. We’re funny creatures who want the security of the familiar while simultaneously desiring something different. Staring into an abyss of the yet-to-be-experienced is scary and feels unique to us. But everyone has been there. One way to handle jitters is to identify an initial landing spot. The envisioned next step may not appear but it’s comforting to think it will—and it provides momentum to get off your duff.

Just the thought of letting go can create panic. Habits of all stripes can exert an inordinate degree of existential alarm. If that rings true for you, please seek professional support because fear of that magnitude is almost impossible to face alone.

It’s a relief not to be in transition after living through a lot of them. Micro-adjustments provide a breather, like strolling instead of running full tilt. However, becoming entrenched can make the next change feel like an earthquake. “Use it or lose it” applies not just to muscles but to flexibility—both physically and mentally. Life will change you whether you want it to or not so why not stay in shape by selecting challenges that intrigue you?

A new year is traditionally a time of evaluating the past and looking at the possibility of new beginnings. Make a conscious choice about what you want for this next season of your life. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time to wrap up writing blogs as I’m drawn to other creative pursuits. And who knows where that will lead? The great thing about change is you only have to begin and the rest will be revealed.

My hope is that you are engaged wholeheartedly in your life and that if gets stale, you’ll loosen your grip on the known to seek more. You deserve that—the world is ripe with gifts that will continue to emerge for and through you. Shine on, my friends, and happy new year!

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